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The Tragic End - It has been two-and-a-half years since my last post, and the story has recently taken its most tragic twist. First I need to add a little to my story below. There was a part that I deliberately left out of one of my entries, because of my fear of confronting the deeper issue behind it. I was afraid that if someone I knew somehow found this blog tha... - 2009/09/15

Fighting the Devil - I've come down with an out of season cold. I rarely get sick as it is, so the fact that I've been hit now is a testament to how stressed I am. But right now I have an even bigger illness to fight - my dad's addiction to methamphetamine. Monday morning, on the way out to work on BART, I was a complete zombie. To fellow passengers, I must have looked... - 2009/09/15

Father's Day - It's Father's Day. I've been apprehensive about this day for a while now -- particularly since the incident with Jon and my dad happened. Friday I agonized over what to do. Do I send a card? Call my dad? Do nothing? Finally I settled on sending a card. I didn't want to do nothing at all. But I also didn't know if I could handle talking to him. I'm ... - 2009/09/15

Adding Insult to Injury - Most of the remainder of my Father's Day was spent a miserable, crying wreck. A few hours after turning my grandmother down, my dad called. I let it go to the answering machine, and then sat nervously on the edge of my couch to see what he had to say. He sounded choked up, like he was fighting back tears as he said "Hi Danielle, it's Dad. Just cal... - 2009/09/15

The Passage of Time - Nearly a year has passed since I last added to this blog. So much has happened since then, though things are still far from over. I'll warn you that this entry will be extremely long. But I have nearly 11 months worth of stuff to write about. In my last post, I mentioned my attempt to get through to my youngest brother, about our dad. At the time, ... - 2009/09/15

Letting Go - I spent a long time in the months after the funeral working through my own grieving process. But it was weird because I had technically grieved his "death" a few years earlier when my dad went from being the man who raised me to the meth addict who destroyed himself and his family. I fed off of a pool of strength that I'm not even quite sure where ... - 2009/09/15