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03/07/2013 08:20:48 PST
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Rust in Peace 09/26/2013 13:41:51

Time heals. Sorrows lessen. Loss initiates memories and, for many of us, thankfulness. This last month has been hard for us as a couple. Monday I found out that my cousin’s husband had passed away. I am humbled. Here I am with my husband intact, albeit infuriating to me, and my cousin sits alone. Perspective. I look around our weedy, hulk littered property and am irritated. But my husband is still here to possibly clean it up, so I have hope. Were he to die, as much as I am tempted some days, he couldn’t. I too would be alone. The times I find myself longing for ‘alone time’ I need to remember this. It’s easy to take myself off somewhere, and then come home. Death, however, would change that forever. Death is the final aloneness. I have friends who’ve become widows. Some are still single. Some have remarried. Some of those marriages are already over. Those friends are once again alone. Focus. I need to remember to be thankful. I need to focus on the positive. I need to choose to be happy, or at least choose not to be upset. I am soley responsible for my own actions and reactions. Not everything in life is going to be good, easy, enjoyable or understandable. Not everything is going to be fun. Life can be hard at times, but the good thing is that it is life, not death. As I mourn with my cousin and her family, I am reminded afresh of how blessed I am. I can hug my hubby when he comes home from work today. I can lay down beside him as we retire for the night. And, L...
Reality 09/18/2013 09:31:28

The last two weeks have been hellacious in our household. I’m at my wits end trying to figure out what to do short of packing Kidlet and I up and moving out. I wouldn’t want our dogs to suffer. The Hubster has been a holy terror. He admits that his ‘logic’ and thinking have been skewed of late, but it isn’t stopping his erratic and irrational behaviors. He won’t go to a counselor or his doctor. He won’t stop doing absolutely bizarre things. I’m worn out. I usually pay the bills. I’ve been doing so for the last twenty years. I had a lab billing for Steve that seemed odd. It looked like there was some double billing, so yesterday I asked him to call the lab and request a full billing statement from them including what was billed to our insurance and what they had already been paid. I had tried, but due to confidentiality issues, the lab said that they couldn’t discuss the issue with me. When The Hubster did call, he just paid the extra amount that I was questioning “because the lady said we owed it”. After that call concluded he decided to call his doctor’s office to request the total amount of his last visit. He then paid that ‘balance’ which both the insurance company and I had already paid. The money he put on his account was extra. They’ve now said that they could ‘hold’ it until another visit. Criminy. I discovered all of this while at the grocery store trying to use my cash card and having it declined. I texted him and found out...
Brain Melt 09/15/2013 08:01:52

Just when I think that Steve can’t do anything else to amaze or confound me, he does just that. I do recognize that many Aspergians have a bit of OCD in their makeup. My spouse most certainly does. I am not sure to what degree it plays in his theory of mind or mind set-ness, but lately it’s been a dominate force. *Sigh* Friday it came to light that Steve is now trying to ‘fix’ an incident that happened seven years ago. And alter a perception of something else that happened three years ago. And solve a recent misunderstanding that is not fixable. All of which he refuses to leave alone. He has spent the last ten day totally obsessed by these things, making phone calls and trying to make changes that can damage our family. He won’t stop. I’ve tried to reason with him. I’ve tried to get him to talk to someone, professional and non-involved, to put everything into perspective and accept the realities of all three situations. He is stubbornly resisting. He refuses to consider anything other than his mindset. He is fixated on achieving an impossible conclusion. Holy moly. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership, I remind him. Not a war. Not a competition. We are to work together for the good of our family. Uh huh. When we first married, we agreed that we wouldn’t do anything individually that we couldn’t agree on together. He now says that he didn’t really agree. Would he be happier alone, I ask. He says he isn’t sure. Oh boy. Does he realize that he is fixat...
post by laughinghelps 06/09/2013 20:32:36
    Nothing Left
musings on nt/aspie relationships

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