A flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We
ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces
us to the terminal."
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered
his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which
required the first officer to stand at the door while the Passengers
exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He
said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the
passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart
comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for this little old
lady walking with a cane.
She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?"
"Why no Ma'am," said the pilot, "what is it?"
The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?"
After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant
came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your
seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to
a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has
cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door
and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."